#5 Ask about his day.

It sounds so obvious... Ask about your child's day.

But how many times do you find yourself asking the babysitter how much the kids ate, if they took a bath, or if there were any problems? Or when you pick them up from Grandma's, do you ask HER if they behaved and what they did together?

Those are the types of things your child could be telling you. Ask your child! It will improve his expressive language skills and build confidence in his ability to communicate when he's able to answer your questions. Yes, questions (plural)! Not just one general question: How was your day at Grandma's? Besides being too general, it could also leave you with a one-word answer. Try using open-ended questions that will lead to conversation.

What was the best thing you did at Grandma's?
What was the funniest thing Grandpa said?
How did you help Daddy today?
What did you eat for lunch?
Who else did you see today?
Where did you get to go to today?
Who did you play with at recess?
What did Aunt Anita do when ____?
What did your teacher say when _____?
What's one thing you learned at school today?
Why are you you sad?
How did that make you feel?
What did you do with your friends today?
Where did you get your bracelet? (refer to photo above)

Ask one question at a time, and give him your undivided attention when he responds. Follow up with a related question and keep the conversation going. Back and forth, taking turns talking about his day.

You'll learn alot about your child, from what HE says. And if he's unable to give you enough information, given lots of prompting and prodding, then go ahead and get the information you need from his teacher or Grandma or whoever. But start with your child.

#4 Opposites

In working with young children who have Language Impairments, my goal is to introduce as many new words as I can. So many of them communicate in short, choppy, ungrammatical sentences without any descriptive words. My job is to teach vocabulary and semantics.

Semantics?

se-man-tics
Definition: the meaning of words

Sometimes this is best done by using opposites. If a child already knows a word that can help you teach another word, use that to your advantage. Just first be sure he understands the meaning of opposites. It alone can be a hard concept for a child to understand. But when he grasps it, you can teach so many descriptive words.

If a child knows "old" but doesn't know "young," use what he knows to teach him what he doesn't know. Show a picture of an old person and a picture of a young person and talk about the differences between "old" and "young." An old person might have white hair and wrinkles. She might might walk slowly with a cane. A young person might be a kid who runs and plays. Don't forget to ask questions that ensure understanding like "Are you young or old?" and "Is grandpa young or old?"

Show pictures of lots of people and have your child use the words "young" and "old" in sentences to describe people. If you need to get him started, use a leading statement like "Baby Carleah is _____." It will seem redundant to you, but that's what will help him learn. "Grandpa Huber is _____." "The baby chick is _____." After getting him going, let him start and complete his sentences on his own. He'll feel a sense of pride and you'll praise him for showing you he knows and can use a new word.

Teach as many opposites as you can.

hot/cold
night/day
wet/dry
big/small
heavy/light
bright/dark
loud/quiet
hard/soft
fast/slow
up/down
happy/sad
long/short
sick/healthy
in/out
rich/poor
sharp/dull
over/under

* This post is written in honor of my Grandma Huber, who recently celebrated her 98th birthday and may appear "old" but still acts "young".

#3 Tell Me 3 Things...

Categorization is very important cognitive/linguistic skill for children to understand. It helps them to see how things go together. How they are alike and how they are different. Naming and giving examples of "crunchy things" often puts meaning to such descriptive words for young children.

I love playing categorization games with my little boy. It's something fun we can do anywhere. In the car on the way to church. In the bathtub. While we're waiting for a parade to start.

Ask your child to tell you 3 things that belong together and tell him the category.

TELL ME 3 THINGS...
-That are red.
-That you can sit on.
-That you can read.
-That you eat at breakfast.
-That you can draw with.
-That you wear on your feet.
-That are soft.
-That are stinky.
-That are hot.
-That's crunchy.
-That live in water.
-That can fly.
-That have fur.
-That you wear when it's cold.
-That you can do when it's hot.
-That you can do with your grandma.
-That you see at a birthday party.
-That live on a farm (refer to picture above).

As a variation, name a category (or better yet, let your child name a category) and take turns naming something that belongs in that category. For example, on the way to Uncle Randy's farm, say "Let's take turns saying different animals on a farm. You can go first." He might say, "Cow." You say "Horse." He says "Duck." Keep it going as long as you can. Whoever runs out of farm animals first loses.

#2 Make a Pizza Together!

Cooking with your child can be way more than just fun for him. It can be a language-rich experience that helps build vocabulary. The use of all the senses in the kitchen makes new words easier to remember.

Imagine a child who is first exposed to an olive by hearing one described or seeing a picture of one in a book. Now imagine a child first learning what an olive is in the kitchen. The second child is more likely to use the word "olive" the next time he sees one...the child who remembers touching, smelling, and tasting one after watching you twist off the lid and hearing the pop of the jar's seal.

Make a pizza together. Tell him what preheating the oven means. Let him see the dry pizza dough mix and ask him what he thinks it will look and feel like after you add the water and stir. After you let the dough rest, shake flour on the countertop and teach him what kneading is...yes, by letting him do it himself. When it's time to put on the toppings, let him see and smell the colorful options, and of course let him help decorate your pizza. Tell him the name of each vegetable and meat. Mushroom. Pepperoni. Green pepper. Cheese. Sausage. Olives. Tell him what the sauce is made of and let him smell it. Last night my little boy (5 years old) told me "It smells like tomatoes." I can't believe I never told him that pizza sauce is made of tomatoes!

What a rewarding experience! Let the conversation flow. And enjoy the final product together. But be prepared, when kids help in the kitchen, they tend to eat a bit more. For some of you with picky eaters, that alone might get you to try this little experiment.

#1 Say what TO do.

Have you ever felt confused because you didn't understand someone's directions? You just want to know what you're supposed to do.

Adults tend to tell kids what NOT to do, rather than what TO do. So many instructions begin with "Don't..." And they can be very confusing...especially for very young children and children with a language disorder.

"Don't" is such a passive word. I hesitate to even call "Don't" statements directions because you're not directing a child to DO anything when you start with "don't." You're instructing them what NOT to do. You should find that when you are more direct and state what you want the child TO do, you'll have a quicker and more desirable response.

Picture this. A mother walks into the room, deep in phone conversation. This is when her kids are often found testing her patience, so she's not surprised to find her 4 year old son jumping on the couch. She says "Just a minute" to the person on the other end of the phone and in a stern voice "Don't jump on the couch" to her son. She expects him to stop, and he does for a moment, but he continues as soon as she returns to her phone conversation. She again postpones the conversation and in a lounder voice with exaggerated inflection says "I said 'Don't jump on the couch!"

Was this "Don't" instruction effective? Clearly, it wasn't.

Why? There are many possible answers. But without jumping to the conclusion that he's just a bad kid who doesn't listen, consider that that a clear directive wasn't given. An alternate action wasn't suggested. What did the mother want him TO do? Sit still next to her until she was done with her conversation? Play quietly in his bedroom? Watch cartoons? Color a picture at the table or count the pennies in a jar? Any of these would have been clear directions of what he COULD DO. And a child with good language skills might even have asked "What CAN I do?"

A few more examples:

Don't Say: Don't take his toy.
Say: Let HIM play with the toy. He had it first.

Don't Say: Don't touch the baby.
Say: Put your hands in your lap.

Don't Say: Don't play with your food.
Say: Eat.

Don't Say: Don't throw your books on the floor.
Say: Put your books down nicely.

Don't Say: Don't pick your nose.
Say: Use a tissue.

Don't Say: Don't throw your towel on floor.
Say: Hang your towel up every time.

Don't Say: Don't bug me when I'm cooking.
Say: When I'm in the kitchen, play quietly in your bedroom.

Don't Say: Don't touch the dirt without gloves.
Say: Put gloves on first. (Refer to photo above)

A New Slant in Blog World

I haven't looked at my blog in over a month. Have I been too busy? Yeah, but that never kept me away before.

At Christmas I asked my brother if he had ever checked out my blog. His answer was something like "I just don't get it, what's it about?" Granted I'm still new to blogging and it's been a personal blog. I'm not selling anything. I'm not trying to sway your political views. I'm not pushing you to go green, cook organically, or try a new ethnic food everyday. My blog has been about the simple things going on in my life that get me thinking. Alot of my blogs have been about the adventures of my little boy and the interesting things that come out of his mouth.

I've enjoyed sharing these little stories semi-anonomously over the web. So what's the hold up? Why has my blog sat idle for so long?

Answer: I've been thinking. Thinking of a slant. A theme. A reason for the average Joe or Harriet to be interested. Maybe Harriet would stumble upon my blog by searching blogs for "double cowlick." She'd check out my pictures of DT, and move on to the next hit, without looking at any of my other posts. It's obvious the theme of my posts are random. Neither Harriet nor Joe would be interested in my other pointless bloggings.

So, what's my plan?

I've mentioned before that I'm a Speech-Langauge Pathologist, right? I love what I do, and I enjoy being able to share my expertise in childhood speech and language development. What if I continue sharing my little boy's adventures and whatnot, but also offer ideas for speech and language development based on these stories?

That's the plan. As simple as it sounds...ideas for growing your child's speech and language skills. Come back soon.

Loving the Loose Pants

Body image. Like most women, I have no problem finding flaws with my body. It's especially easy when spring arrives and women flaunting washboard stomachs are out and about in their spaghetti-strap tank tops and bum-hugging short shorts.

My loose fitting t-shirts and baggy-butt jeans attempt to hide the bulges in my mid-section and camoflage my soft softs. Strangely, I've never needed to cover my arms or legs. Somehow, as I've gained body mass everywhere else, they've remained the same. Some might even call my legs "chicken legs"...which seems fair, really. I'd say they resemble vertical toothpicks holding up a full-sized Thanksgiving turkey. My calves, like my father's and sister's calves, are in fact unproportionately muscular compared to the rest of my body. It's comical really. Like Popeye's bulging forearms after cracking open a can of spinach.

Lately though, in an effort to lose weight, I've begun to feel a little better about my body. My pants are fitting looser and I'm getting a nicer shape in my sides...not so box-y. So far, I've managed a 10 pound weight loss. I already feel healthier and maybe even less self-conscious as I face the world on the same streets as the flat-stomached women in their spaghetti-strap tank tops.

Now, what do I do about this flat butt!?

Reminiscing on 1982!

I see I've only posted three times this month! Have I been that busy? Have I honestly not had enough time to sit, think, and jot my mushy thoughts? Hmmm? Yep, I think that's been the problem...busy-ness. Okay, that's probably not a word, but you know what I'm saying. I just feel like everything is coming at me so quickly.

Even though I haven't written much lately, it's clear to see that what I HAVE done in my last few posts is use my blog as a sort of reminiscing ground. When life comes at me fast, I can't seem to see what's ahead of me... just what's behind. I think of good times and where I've come from. And here I go again. This time I'm thinking back to my days at the old Harrison Elementary School in Elkhart County, Indiana. It was such a good place to grow up. Oh, the country charm and family-friendly learning!

Here's to you Mrs. Newcomer's class, 1982!
Feel free to click the photo for a closer view if you dare!