Some of you may know me well enough to recall that my current "foot problem" is not the only foot problem I've had to deal with. Evidently, I'm prone to foot injury.
First, I was born with asymetrical feet. The left is half a shoe-size larger than the right. And for that reason I have a hard time buying shoes. I have to try on both and decide if I want the 7 1/2 or the 8. Additionally, the right foot is ugly with shorter, stubby toes... not to mention a thick, corny second toenail. I know I was born with it, but I've always had a hard time accepting it. It's gnarly. So, I tend to wear closed-toe shoes or socks.
Then, when I was 4 years old I had my first foot injury. It was bad! Our rustic living room had exposed wooden beams above. And from it hung a shallow fishbowl in a thick braided sling made for that purpose. I loved the fish... and the hanging fishbowl holder. I stood on the raised fireplace hearth/seat and had an idea. I watched the braided cords twist up high as I turned it with both hands and then I'd let go and smiled as it un-spun around around, faster and faster. But it only worked successfully one time. Unknowingly, I had unscrewed the hook holding the sling to the beam above me and... CRASH! The weight of the hook, the fishbowl holder, and the fish bowl smashed my foot. Not to mention there was water and rocks all over the floor and tiny goldfish flopping around on their sides flexing their gills as they gasped their last breaths. It was sad. Not only did the accident leave me with skin sliced and peeled open on the top of my big toe, but also I had killed the family pets and made a terrible mess. And I'm left with a half-inch square scar to remember the whole thing.
A few years later, when I was in the second grade at Harrison Elementary School, I earned my second foot scar. This time, I was sliding down the "curly slide" on a hot day. The metal scorched skin when the sun beat down on the slide, but I didn't care much for monkey bars or the teeter-totter. So, I risked it with dozens of other kids. I went down feet first and when I came to a stop at the bottom, I quickly flipped to my tummy so that I could hop off backwards without getting burnt and... RIP! Somehow I snagged the skin on the top of my right ankle. Classmates had to carry me in to the school nurse.
Many years went by without another injury, but then at my older brother's high school graduation party, I was asked to go inside to get a bag of 2-liter pops for the punch. I retrieved the bag and handed it to my sister. The plastic bag was too heavy and the 3 2-liters ripped out the bottom, landing directly on top of my foot. Everyone who saw, gasped. I was embarrassed and in severe pain. It bruised and swelled and remained that way for about 2 weeks. Very painful.
Fast forward about 3 more years. I was a junior in high school and didn't have a date for the prom. I wanted to go, but what was my plan? Unfortunately, my mom was the high school Spanish teacher and took it upon herself to solve this dilemma. She asked a boy for me... one of her students and a friendly acquaintance of mine. She would transform the dress I had just worn for my brother's wedding and with the leftover material, she would make Aaron a cumberbund and bowtie. Embarassed by how the whole thing evolved, but excited to be going to the prom with a date, I was happy until... 2 weeks before the prom, I ran downstairs through my mom's sewing area to answer the ringing telephone. I picked up the receiver before the answering machine kicked on, but felt like I had just gotten stung on the sole of my left foot by a bee. I'd never been stung before, but I was sure that's what it was. Even though I couldn't find the bee. Hmm? So, still limping around 2 weeks later, right before the prom, I asked my mom to take me to the doctor. At this point it was too tender to stand on and strangely bruised and tender on top. It was x-rayed and behold a sewing needle, completely intact! When I had run through my mom's sewing area, I had stepped on a needle and it went straight up through the fatty tissues and very nearly emerged on the top side. I was scheduled to have it surgically removed the next day at the hospital, only days before prom.
Which leads me to my senior year in high school. Now, my brother and sister were at college in Kansas. My parents said I could take a college visit and invite a friend. I invited Jen, a hyper-active and adventurous friend since elementary school that made everything more fun. We enjoyed the trip and had fun watching the college scene. We went to a basketball game and watched my sister perform with the dance team in the halftime show. It was great. Then, we all packed into the car to try out this new Mexican restaraunt in town. And that's when it happened. I was sitting behind the passenger seat with my long-legged brother in the seat in front of me. He pulled up on the lever to slide his seat back enough to give him some leg room. My foot was under his seat and got dragged back several inches by a thin wire underneath. Unable to speak, I winced in pain and lifted my foot with my hands. No one knew what had happened. I couldn't cry. My foot was still stuck! I shook my foot with my hands and wiggled it back toward me. The wire bent far enough that it finally snapped up out of the top of my foot. It hurt... and bled...and bled some more. Needless to say, I don't remember much else about the rest of the weekend.
I do consider my feet to be accident prone, but oddly I don't seem to get hurt anywhere else. I'm generally healthy despite my feet. Anyway, if any of you can top these embarassing injuries, I'd love to read your stories. I find strange accidents intriguing and humbling. I'll be checking my comments to see who has the best story.
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